Today is the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul, the Apostle. Before his conversion, Paul persecuted and killed many of the early Christians. One day, on the road to Damascus to hunt down Christians, he fell from his horse as he encountered the risen Christ. The sight of Jesus was so forceful that it left him blind for three days. Ultimately, he converted to Christianity and spent the rest of his life proclaiming the Gospel. In honour of this amazing Saint and his conversion, I'm sharing the story of my own conversion or re-conversion.
When I was a teenager, I became consumed by what the world had to offer and my Catholic faith took a backseat in my life. As a result, I stopped going to Church completely in high school and in my university years. Over this period of time, my faith diminished to the point of abandoning my Christian values and turning hostile to the Catholic Church.
Later in my university life, I had a major faith re-awakening, which was an event that would change my life significantly. In October 2002, I was invited by a persistent Catholic classmate to a church event, which I accepted somewhat reluctantly. At the event, a priest gave a talk on the status of the Catholic Church at that time. He said something that spoke to me very profoundly. He said: “the Church is not perfect. We are a church of sinners who make mistakes. But you as young members of this church, you have two choices: you can sit down and watch the Church fall apart or you can stand up and do something to make it a better church. What are you going to do?”
This statement bothered me. So much so I couldn't sleep that night. I felt challenged and didn’t know how to respond. Determined to find an answer, I called up my classmate and found out that there’s another similar church event the next week. Needless to say, I went to the event and a priest gave a talk on the parable of the Prodigal Father and the Prodigal Son from the gospel of Luke, chapter 15. It was the first time I heard this beautiful story of mercy and forgiveness between a father and a son. Unbeknownst to me, this event would also involve the Sacrament of Reconciliation and at some point in the evening, I found out that those who were present would have the opportunity to go for confession – something I was not prepared for. “Thanks but no thanks. I’m going to pass,” were the words on my mind.
When the time for confession came, many people stood and lined up to the confession stations. Perplexed, I wondered why so many young people my age would want to go to confession. As I remained in my seat and observed, I looked around and saw people leaving the confessional with joy and peace written all over their faces. Urged to find out for myself what this confession business was all about, I battled with myself whether to go or not to go. In the end, I decided to go to confession!
As my turn came, I struggled to find words to speak in my conversation with the priest. It had been more than 10 years since I last went to confession. Finally, after a long period of silence, the priest said: “just let go, open yourself to God and invite Him into your life. He will lift your burden and give you rest.” So I did. I opened up and poured my heart out to the priest. The priest listened to me very intently and engaged in conversation with me. In the end, he absolved me of my sins and said to me: “Son, welcome home.” At this time, I felt tremendous joy and peace. I then understood what the other people were going through. It was the loving mercy and forgiveness of God that I was experiencing, which is exactly what the parable of the Prodigal Father and the Prodigal Son was all about.
The key moment in all of this came later that evening when I made a conscious and deliberate decision to open my heart to God and commit my life fully to Jesus Christ. With this decision, I returned to attending Mass regularly and praying everyday. I joined bible studies, started reading scriptures regularly and became active in the Church, in Christian fellowship and in service to the needy.
Looking back to this series of events, I realize that it was nothing else but a powerful encounter with God. It was in fact God who was urging me to go to confession and I’m so glad I yielded to Him! Like St. Paul, I encountered Christ in a very profound and tangible way, which led me into a conversion of mind and heart.
As I mature in faith and learn more about theology and the history of the Church, I've come to know that it is possible to have a daily encounter with Christ but I MUST choose to give Him my ‘yes’ everyday in my own free will and He never disappoints. I am equally convinced that this encounter with Christ is readily available to anyone. In fact, He desires for everyone to receive His free gift. All it takes is a simple ‘yes’ in our own free will. Of course, there remain struggles and challenges but with God, we are never alone.
Today, I’m working as a full-time missionary to share the Gospel message with others and invite them to say a simple “yes” to God in their own free will so that more may experience the perfect love, which can only come from Jesus Christ. And hopefully like St. Paul, I can do this for the rest of my life.
When was the last time you said 'yes' to Christ?
